When kitchens go bad

I love this card by Modern Toss. My good friend Holly got it for me while I was having my new kitchen put in. She felt my pain.

In short, acquisition and fitting of kitchen, aka, Groundhog Day, involved:

• eight visits to Ikea, Croydon in a two-month period (more than enough to provoke paranoid psychosis, as well as manic depression)
• one blazing row with good friend, in Croydon
• one penalty notice for stopping on a red route (to have a blazing row)
• four tortuous, Pinteresque phonecalls to Ikea's "customer service" department (and I use the term loosely)
• one belated discovery that I'd bought the wrong (and non-returnable) type of oven from Ebay
• not enough units/too many units/complete alienation from the kitchen plan
• one 58cm mystery gap that sneaked in when no one was looking
• one faulty tap which wobbled and made the water taste like nicotine
• green-mindedly trying to sell the old kitchen on Ebay with both success and disaster in quick succession
• one formica-phobic builder
• two key pieces of wiring, missing (only to be found in... yes... Ikea, Croydon)
• one £80 carousel that couldn't be used - or returned... yada yada yada. As the card says...